The world was very different when you and I were 13.

Here are a few more short stories, advice, and anecdotes for our special Birthday feature ‘The Baker’s Dozen’. Enjoying wise words from a selection of friends and clients, all sharing their thoughts on what they would say to their 13-year-old selves if they could. We hope you enjoy them.

What I say to me on or around my thirteenth birthday?

Tough one. But I think I’d keep it simple. “Read as much as you can, play outside more, don’t over think stuff and really try and stick with the things you love doing and don’t spend time with people that make you unhappy or that you get the weird sense are sucking the life out of you.”

That’s what I wish someone had told me when I was thirteen and then, maybe, reminded me of a few times at various teenage birthdays.

Life’s a journey – a truism, but an accurate one – and as you move forward the path you take is not a straight one. But the signposts are almost always there if you look for them. I think the issue is that as you grow up you’re often impatient for things to happen – more now for kids than ever. Restless teenage eyes maybe move too fast to see the right signs – so you still need someone to point them out. One important signpost someone should have pointed out to me was this: “Try to identify what you really love and if you have a dream chase it and don’t give up on it.”

Now, as a 54-year-old I love being outside, reading, drawing and still trying to pretend I am a professional footballer/cyclist/cricketer and I occasionally make Airfix models. All of which (except for cycling) I was doing at 13. I’ve gone full circle. Those things were always there but I either ignored them, or thought they were not cool enough. One thing that wasn’t cool was listening to my parents or finding out what made them tick. But we need to reassure our inner 13-year-old it is Ok to be quirky and do things that might seem uncool – even spending time with ‘dry, old people’.

So, reading (and hence writing), visual ideas and being heathy and making time to be outside in nature one way or another all underpin my working and family life.

The dream is to do it more and keep doing it.

All of these things have helped give me perspective and that has helped deal with the character-building stuff that life throws at you. So, as Jeff Lynne and ELO said when I was in my early teens: “Hold on Tight to Your Dreams.”

Thank you for allowing me to be involved in your amazing celebration turning 13. I have laid out the key points of advice I would give my 13 year old self which reflects that tricky age of becoming a teenager and learning about the scary big world which is still so relevant in this modern day world of business and entrepreneurship.

Listen

To listen, really listen is a key skill at all ages and stages of life and one I believe is so important. Really listen to your friends, parents, colleagues, family, customers, teachers, peers and music - you will be amazed what you can learn and achieve.

Ask

Never be afraid to ask questions, even when no-one else will, and really listen to the answer. I heard ‘there’s no such thing as a stupid question’ countless times through my childhood as well as working career, and it’s so true. For this reason, I always encourage my children to stay inquisitive.

Reflect

Take the time to reflect on any situation that didn’t go as planned; there will always be something to take away and learn from for the next time round. Ask yourself ‘why?’ I personally found this simple question so effective in helping me to understand people. Most of the time there is always a reason.

Talk

Don’t be afraid to talk about your fears, ambitions, feelings and thoughts. We are all human. This is something I have improved on through my adult life, but at that age of 13 it was simply unheard of (for me anyway). Communication is so important in all aspects of life, but especially in business. We work hard to create an environment where our employees feel they can talk to us and each other at any time.

Say No

It is ok to say ’no’. As a 13-year-old, peer pressure can make you feel like you’ve got to say yes, however I have learnt over the (many years) of adulthood and in my business career that saying no is just as important as saying yes. There’s definitely been times in our infancy as a business that saying no was a scary prospect, however if you believe in what you stand for, then it is the right thing to do.

Read

I was given the advice many years ago to read. Read every single day. Such a simple tip but very powerful.

Stay Active

On a personal level, in my mid-thirties I experienced health issues which at the time thought was unrecoverable. However, with the support of friends, family and work colleagues I came back stronger than before. I am – at the age of 39 – the fittest I have been in my life, both physically and mentally. Staying active has had a huge positive impact on my life. Balancing family, friends and work can be tricky but always finding ‘me time’ is something I work to do. Life can be incredibly busy at times, but we must remember to take care of ourselves. The rest will fall into place. I wish I had known and understood the importance of this at 13.

What would I tell my 13-year-old self? I think there is so much pressure now to be the best version of yourself that I think we need to remember to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves a break. We don’t know the future, we won’t know the answers until we have made the mistakes, and that’s ok. The important thing is to listen and keep learning. There is definitely something wrong if you ever think to yourself “I know it all and there is nothing anyone can teach me”.

There will be time to evolve, to find what works and what doesn’t. Just take baby steps forward, celebrate success when they come and if you can adapt and flex and change with the tides, you will be ok.

Oh, and try not to burn your bridges. You may have to rebuild them sooner than you think.

Good luck and keep exploring!

Hey you, it’s you, from the future. And before you ask, flying Delorean time machines don’t exist, more's the shame!

Anyway, I’ve got something to tell you, so listen up. You’ve been through a lot in the last 30 odd years. Some good things, some not so good. But that’s life I guess it has its ups and downs. What can I tell you is to live your life to the fullest. Say ‘yes’ to every new experience you can. As long as it’s legal, they may only present themselves once.

Show those you care about that you do care as often as possible. If that means saying ‘I love you’ then say it. I know that sounds cheesy to you now, as a 13-year-old, but you get back what you put in. And just remember not to worry about anything too much – it will all work out in the end – I promise.

The One About Cultivating Beauty

Seek out beauty in your everyday life; it is a great solace.

Admire beauty in the human form but be wary of being seduced by beauty with no substance or moral fibre.

The One About Mutuality

Support others and help whenever you see help is needed.

Pay it forward – others will help you when you need it.

The One About Not Being A Rock Star

Identify your strengths and talents then plan your path in life based on those.

Do not dwell on your wholly understandable desire to be the lead singer or guitarist of a best-selling band or the prima ballerina at the Royal Ballet if you cannot sing, play guitar or dance.

Be confident in your abilities and develop them to the fullest extent.

Success at work is rewarding and gives you an anchor in life.

The One About Money

Never cede control of your finances to anyone else ever. EVER.

Keep your own bank account, pay your bills, manage your money and make your own decisions about what to spend your money on.

The One About Self-Worth

Ensure that you are valued at work and in any relationship (romantic and otherwise) – there will always be dissent and metaphorical ups and downs, but you should still feel valued and recognised.

If you aren’t valued, find a new job or a new relationship.

The One About Faking It

Everyone in the world lacks confidence and has moments of self-doubt.

Understand that some people are more expert at hiding this than others.

Fake it when you are not feeling confident; practice makes perfect.

Keep within sight your understanding of your own strengths and talents and be confident in them.

The One About Getting Old

You have so much to look forward to.

Every age is interesting, age enthusiastically.

It may surprise you to know that I would rather be 61 than 13. In fact, I would rather be 61 than 21, 31, 41 or 51.

Life has taught me that age brings wisdom and acceptance, less concern about what others think and a reduction in many pressures.

The One About Respect

We are all human, with the same aspirations and insecurities.

Some people are bullies (due to their own sense of inadequacy) and it is part of life to learn that you have to stand up to them no matter how difficult that may seem.

Value difference in others – it makes them more interesting.

Treat everyone with respect regardless of their race, gender, faith, sexual orientation, political views or age.

At 13 years old I was going to be an architect and that was that.

However, somewhere between 13 and 18 the thought of 7 years at University and the transition from drawing board to CAD changed my mind. It was at this point I discovered Quantity Surveying, an opportunity to combine my love of buildings with numbers and analysis.

And so the next chapter begun, a degree, becoming chartered, working client side, a little while for a contractor and then back to client side. At the time I was doing (and loving) a lot of residential projects and it seemed the natural transition would be into property development at some point. However, a phone call from out of the blue changed everything on the shape of my career and life.

I was approached about a role with one of the big four accountancy firms to work in their management consulting team. I had never heard of this type of role before, but it sounded fascinating; problem solving on a big scale. I liked the idea of the role but not working for such a large organisation and so after a discussion with my then senior partner, I set off to get an MBA and set up the new management consulting division of the surveying firm where I was working. With this skill set and my knowledge of buildings I very quickly found myself supporting architects on the analytical part of the briefing process – workplace consultancy, another new job that I had never heard of!

Fast forward almost a decade later and I am now running my own workplace and change consultancy practice, delivering projects for a diverse range of clients across the globe. How did that happen?

At 13 years old I could never have predicted the path my life would follow. At 23 I still hadn’t even heard of the profession that I would later build a successful business in. What got me here was being open to change, always excited to try something different and really working on the basis that I could never regret trying something even if it failed. In both business and sport, I live by the saying that in every situation you win or learn, providing you can take a lesson away from a situation then it should be seen as a positive experience.

I have a 13-year-old son, so I started thinking back to what advice I received at that age and the impact it had, but truthfully? It more than likely went in one ear and out the other.

I received very risk adverse advice growing up and often wondered what if I’d invested in houses the same way my Nan taught me to play monopoly, whether I’d have at least two hotels by now as well as a house in Mayfair. Sadly that is not the case, so I guess part of my advice is to take more risks.

Whatever your passion, my advice is to follow your dreams (that won’t be the last cliché) but focus on and be passionate about the one thing you enjoy the most, commit everything and see how far you can go to being the best and mastering it to the best of your abilities. I have enjoyed being active and have relished the competitive nature of sports including football, basketball, golf and more recently cycling but I always wondered what if I could have mastered one?

I now treasure every bike ride because there was a period following a slipped disc that I couldn’t even walk and required surgery to get me back on my feet. Events like that put things in perspective; a reminder that it can all stop in the blink of an eye. I guess I’d tell myself to seize the moment and grab the opportunity with both hands (the clichés just keep coming) and to keep going for as long as you can. Maybe one day that hotel will be mine.

Be weird. The things that make you different are the things that make you interesting. Standing out at 13 sounds scary. But when you’re older, these quirks, these interesting parts of your personality, these are the things that will draw people to you. Keeping a low profile at school is understandable, but as you get older, lean into the things that might make you stand out. It takes bravery to be who you are. Gently, unapologetically, yet bravely wading against the current takes courage.

Don’t hold back when falling in love. The emotions may feel huge and overwhelming but really loving someone with everything you’ve got feels pretty spectacular, especially if they love you back. Even if they don’t, still go all in. Whether you’re a teenager, in your 30’s or somewhere in your eighties, you’ll probably feel foolish, might get rejected, and may have your heart broken – that’s just how it goes sometimes. But you might discover enormous, fantastic, overwhelming joy, happiness and a kind of power that only comes from being honest and vulnerable with another human. Loving someone is similar to all the loves you will find later in life; discover what you love about food, travel, sport, your job, but whatever it is – go all in.

Getting older is awesome. Although most advertising will suggest you should stay 21 forever, getting older is actually a lot of fun. With each year I get older, I find more freedom, happiness, laughter, self-respect, and the wonderful ability to not take yourself too seriously. At 13, it’s seems like it’s all rush rush rush to get to 18, and then it’s stop stop stop once you get to 30. I assure you that it is not the end of the world when you turn 31. Age brings perspective on what really matters to you, who and what is important, and the wonderful realisation that you do not have to fit into society’s mould of who you should be.

Change your mind. Don’t worry – none of us adults have really got it figured out. It may look like we do, but I promise you that we’re all making it up as we go along. What you want to do when you’re 13 will probably be different at 18, 21, 30 and so on, but don’t be afraid to change your mind. You’re not a tree – you can move. Move jobs, move cities, move countries, move relationships. It’s ok to change direction or be directionless for a while. Sometimes the paths that don’t look that exciting or promising are the ones where you meet your best friend, your partner, find a career you love, or your favourite place to live. Just know that you don’t have to have it all figured out. Part of the joy of life is figuring it out along the way.

Wise words, anecdotes and musings... more from The Baker's Dozen.